Trailer Wife

Oh, man. In times of true physical misery, I suppose one clings to the tried and true. For me, this has historically added up to pots of chicken flavored ramen, marathon screenings of Battlestar Galactica and hours spent in lolling vegetation on the couch. Even when I felt really terrible, I would get a little thrill at the prospect of the whole weekday stretched out in front of me; mindless TV-watching without guilt, comfort food, sleep in the afternoon.

Turns out, parents don't get sick days. And to say that I have been "sick," seems to besmirch the common cold's good name. According to the doc, I have one of the worst sinus infections she's ever seen, tonsillitis, a double ear infection and a membrane virus in my right eye. FML.

Of course, this affliction landed the night Sam got home from a week-long business trip, which meant he had a thousand fires to put out on campus and couldn't really stay home nursing me (not to mention the fact that he is THE WORST NURSEMAID on the planet and I wouldn't allow him near me lest I be reminded that self-pity is a choice). So I've been waking up, stumbling through Gusser's morning toilette, driving him to daycare (half-blind!) and then collapsing on the couch for four hours until I have to pick him up in the early afternoon. The only thing keeping me alive: popsicles.

Banana-flavored Twin Pops, to be exact. I have probably eaten three whole boxes this week (that's an average of 12 per day). Even when Gus is throwing handfuls of chewed-toast into my closet or gnawing on my knee caps, these sunny little flavor-bombs give me just enough will-to-live to redirect the kid's missiles and down my antibiotic horse pills.

Banana Twin Pops remind me of home-made slip'n'slides, the smell of baking concrete peppered with dog poop, the feeling of dandilions twirled under my chin, and deep, unkempt grass. They remind me of my sister's messy braids and indian burns. Of sitting on porches and smoking cigarettes. Sigh.

So, thank you, popsicles. In my snuffling, weepy, swollen state, what little affection I can spare for this miserable world is aimed directly at you.

PS - my, (ahem), short-story-themed February posts? You get the picture.

Some of you know that I have a daily Fred Meyer habit. (Target, if you're listening, please come to Fairbanks. PLEASE.) I've heard a rumor that all of the lighting in the Fairbanks Fred Meyer is full-spectrum, which keeps shoppers in a good mood, thus increasing their sales. I don't doubt this, because swear to God, I go in for a gallon of milk and come out $50 poorer. And I find myself making up excuses to stop by Fred Meyer almost every freaking day. It's like small town retail crack.

In hopes that my bulging cupboards and empty wallet will translate into something useful, I've put together a list below of must-have, can't-live-without, Kroger-approved items. Enjoy.






Kiss My Face, Moisturizing Shave Cream, ~$6.00
Seriously, this is THE BEST shave cream I have ever come across, and I lived in Europe for two years. My favorite scent is cool mint - it leaves your legs silky and tingly without the customary burn of menthol. And, hand to God, I don't have to shave nearly as often.










Meyer's Clean Day, Basil Surface Cleaner, ~$6.00
My Kitchen has never been so clean, mostly due to the amazing scent of this admittedly high-priced cleaning solvent. But it is AMAZING smelling - not to0 bright, not too flowery. Just the perfect, fresh, subtle tang of basil. SO good.







Boogie Wipes, ~$3.50
These little suckers kept me sane through the-worst-cold-ever a couple of weeks ago. They handily dissolved Gusser's Garbage-Pail-Kid schnoz slime, and had a nice (Sam claims overpowering) clean scent.





Emerald Valley Organic Hummus - Smoked Jalapeno and Garlic ~$3.50
I am serious about hummus. The grocery stores in Scotland were SO superior to US supermarkets in that they prohibit all preservatives. So hummus was fabulous, but had a very short fridge life. This product is the best of both worlds: fresh, low preservatives, but still lasts a good week or two. Goes well with pita chips.






Neutrogena Eye Makeup Remover Pads, ~$6.00
I keep these babies by my bed, and when I'm too tired from a night spent watching reality TV whilst facebooking (try not to be jealous), I don't have to endure the trauma of waking up to racoon eyes in the bathroom mirror.









Avalon Organics Lavendar Shampoo, ~$5.00
This stuff is great (you can also get it at Costco) - smells clean and leaves hair squeaky and shiny. Added bonus: it doesn't have sodium laureth sulfate, the lathering ingredient that causes a lot of people skin irritation (Hi Sam). So now we don't have to buy seven different shampoos to clutter up the shower.

This Saturday marked the start of the Yukon Quest, a 1000 mile sled dog race between Fairbanks and White Horse. On odd number years, they start in White Horse and finish in Fairbanks, but this year the dogs set off from the frozen banks of the Chena river, in downtown Fairbanks. I was SO excited to go.

For one thing, how cool is it to gallivant around on a frozen river? I don't know why this appealed to me so much, but I couldn't stop thinking about the possibility that the ice would crack and we'd all be plunged into the freezing depths. It was very exciting.

For another, people talk about this race and sled dog racing in general so much, it's hard not to get swept away in the whole Jack London adventuresome spirit of it all. And I knew it would be terrific people watching.

The start line.

The frozen Chena River and the race chute

Here I am explaining to Gus how THE PUPPIES are coming

The first team! (Check out the little doggie slippers)

Sweet outfit.

I'm pretty sure a few people showed up just for the free bagels.

He's putting on a tough face here, but he was not cool with the 8 degree weather (which everyone was exclaiming was SOOOO warm).

Santa?

I have been negligent in posting more about our progeny. For some, this is probably a good thing. There are SO many mommy blogs out there blethering about every moment of their darlings' lives. And while those moments are very important, obviously, I'd rather document them in my own way (read: thousands of digital images I will probably never organize or bring into 3D reality).

That being said, I figured it was probably time to jot down some of Gusser's particular triumphs.

• He has transitioned from ape-like shuffling to full on arm-swinging ambulation. He gets quicker and more sure-footed every day, and very recently learned how to open doors. With a very determined set to his squinty eyes, he climbs, paces, and circles with purpose.
• He is seemingly desperate to communicate. With every item he finds the approximate size of a chalkboard eraser, he holds said item up to his ear, and utters a very interrogatory, "Aye?"
  
• He loves Daddy. LOVES. Mommy is lukewarm dishwater to the brilliant, permissive, shoulder-riding, wrestle-initiating goodness that is Daddy.
  
• He is a music lover. At daycare, he heads straight for the music box and serenades the little girls for hours. You should see what this kid can do with a harmonica.
  
• He is no lover of the outdoors. Sure, he'll eat a few handfuls of snow when we plop him in the front yard, but just try to take Mr. Prim sledding or strolling along a frozen river, and he will wildly object. (Yes, the sub-zero temps might have something to do with that).
  
• He is an epic sleeper. I hesitate to even put this in writing, sure that it will mean Gus wakes up seven times tonight and will not sleep past six... but for the past few months, he is a 7:00 PM - 8:30 AM sleeper. Not to brag or anything (I would hate me too).
• His current nicknames: Gump, BeBop, Sucker, Gusto, and Sherpa.
  

January ended so suddenly, it has taken a few days for the fact of our survival to really sink in. EVERYONE says that January is the worst in Fairbanks. Post-Christmas funk + 20 hours of darkness + lingering layers of ice fog = three weeks in Maui (for many Fairbanksans). But survive it we did. That is not to say that it wasn't one of the darkest months of my entire life (both literally and figuratively), but that's a story for another day. And maybe we got off easy - turns out that it's been unseasonably warm this winter (hovering around zero today), and the snowfall is way down at only 20 inches. In fact, it's the least snowy winter since they started keeping records in 1904!

With the shortest of months comes a wee breath of hope: temperatures are rising, we are gaining more and more daylight every day... conversations hearts alone have gone a long way to improve my outlook. And it might also be the Vitamin D - we finally got on the bandwagon and started taking a daily supplement. Almost immediately we felt more cheerful. In our heads? Maybe. But I'll take it any which way. I have been very bad about taking photos - the lighting is awful at the moment and I am lazy. But I will do better to get some shots this week - especially of mutant ice sculptures that have popped up around ventilation ducts and heated windows.

So... for the month of February I am going to be reading one short story EVERY DAY. I love short stories and feel bad that they get such a bad rap (I'm looking at you, Sam). I am almost always a little stunned and intimidated by how much mind-bending complexity and laconic grace is packed into a really good short story. When I read them, I imagine the author just sitting down beneath a window somewhere, writing out each sentence as it comes to them, fully formed and polished, and it makes me want to give up the ghost and become a truck driver. And even though I know that's not how it works, that they slave and suffer and struggle through each word, the finished product is so blindingly flawless (when it's good) that I can hardly breathe. I guess that's what I'm shooting for - literary asphyxiation.


February 1st: "Nothing Right," from Nothing Right, collection by Antonya Nelson, 2009.

February 2nd: "OBO," from Nothing Right, collection by Antonya Nelson, 2009.

February 3rd: "Kansas," from Nothing Right, collection by Antonya Nelson, 2009.

I picked up Antonya Nelson's newest collection from the Library's new arrivals section on a lark last week, and I'm so glad I did. I have been a fan of hers since she came to Oregon State when I was there a few years ago, as a participant in the visiting writer's series. She is so precise and energetic, so sure and quick-witted, that I found myself squirming with the rightness of her character's strange insights and blunders alike. She has a voyeuristic intensity that I really love. I had read "Kansas" in the New Yorker a few months ago and loved it. I loved it even more this time around. Here is my favorite passage from the story:

"Emily sat across from Henry at the table, staring into her coffee, trying to reconstruct the evening, completely prepared to take responsibility. But for what, exactly? For being drunk enough not to remember, she supposed. She could still recall Ian making them all laugh. The cop pulling over the drunks on the yellow brick road: lion, scarecrow, tin man, even that wacky dwarf, representative of the Lollipop Guild--reciting the backward alphabet, swinging their fingers to their noses, walking with arms outstretched as if on a balance beam. Round-heeled, blasted Judy Garland, in her earnest full-throated way trying to seduce the officer, inviting him for a romp in the poppy field. It had seemed like a good evening, Kay-Kay joining them for dinner, sticking around as the hour grew late, rocking Cherry Sue on her hip, helping Anna fix snacks, changing CDs on teh player when Ian complained about Henry's music... Emily had the impression that they had been trying to please the teenager, all four of the adults staging an impromptu production of Life is Worth Living, right here at this very table."